Phil Lesh
A Reflection on Love, Life, and Loss
It’s been an about five days since Phil Lesh shuffled off this mortal coil. He had a good run lengthened by more than a quarter century by dint of receiving a second liver from a young man named Cody who became an organ donor. Phil honored that gift by delivering his “Donor Rap” to audiences who he entertained over the course of the remainder of his relatively long life - over 84 and a half years in total. A servant of music, enthusiastically and generously sharing his gifts with all of us who were lucky enough to be able to appreciate his talent, Phil leaves many of us feeling bereft but grateful at the same time.
Grahame and Brian Lesh join me in being among those of us who survive our fathers. It is the right order of things and we can preserve our fathers’ legacies. My effort is flagging a bit as this loss, although I never met Phil, has taken a bit of the wind out of my sails. It is right to slow down a little and reflect on the gifts we’ve received and the work that lies ahead before striving onward. In my own case, this is the work going into “The Harold Gill Foundation.” I am sure Grahame and Brian will have their own way of marking their father’s passing in time. The many other charitable institutions that Phil supported in his life such as “The Rex Foundation,” his band’s charitable arm and Seva.org continue to transform the world for many. One of the ways to honor his memory is to make contributions to these and related organizations. Headcount.org is another that is particularly important now as we head into the elections.
Going back to the photograph above - it is one of my prized possessions. I love the spirit it captures and the ride that Phil took us on through the music. I never met him but the last time I saw him perform was at a show of his son, Grahame’s band, Midnight North, in which Phil sat in for a few tunes. His last words to us as he left the stage at the Hamilton Live was “Nice place you all have here!” He clearly had great love and great joy in just playing in support of his son’s group. We were so lucky to be a part of his world.
Arguably, his most famous song is “A Box of Rain” which was written by Phil as he drove to visit his father who was dying of prostate cancer. I had it played in honor of my own father’s 89th birthday on January 16, 2022 by David Gans whose livestreams have become a regular part of my life. The kindness of the community is its outstanding feature. Dad came into the kitchen to hear it being played. He always seemed to enjoy the lyrics “maybe you’ll find direction / around some corner / where it’s been waiting to meet you….” I think he thought of it as something he wished for me. I’m still looking for that direction.
I heard that Phil had passed through a notification that came over my phone as I was discussing a business venture that I’m starting with Lisa Joy Glassman. It was Lisa Joy who tipped me off to Phil sitting in with Midnight North. We were both there as a result - Lisa Joy up front and dancing while I sat back at a table soaking up the bass vibrations. It was a good moment to share - just as it is good for us all to be together in mourning our guides, our sages, our artists.