Mother's Day - Plus One

The Harrowings' take on this holiday and mothers in general.

We all have gotten here through our mothers, so far as I’m aware. Think of it! Eight billion of us running around the globe, most born between about 1905 and now - if not all. That’s not a very long time, in the greater scheme of things, however, we are still all the products of the remarkable apparatus called the female body. Of course, we males have our part to play, but, so far, no born-male individual has yet borne a child through gestation to birth.

I spoke with my own mother today. I’m lucky to be able to do so. She is 86 as of last March 25. For her 38th birthday, my father gave her a new home at the corner of Underwood and Southall Roads in Kingsmill on the James, my hometown’s first “gated community” which was built at the same time as the Anheuser-Busch company was putting in a Brewery and “Busch Gardens - The Old Country” amusement park, voted year-on-year as the most beautiful theme park in the country. That was in March of 1977.

The house closed on Friday. Furniture created by my father and mother and treasured pieces that had graced their formal living room and dining room (or “fancy-eatin’ room” as my late father was apt to call it) was all sent to Re-Store in Newport News where its sale will assist “Habit For Humanity” efforts. I broke the news to Mom today. My sister couldn’t bring herself to tell her yesterday when they made their visit to Mom for Mother’s Day.

I can’t begin to express my gratitude for all those who are helping keep Mom in this world - both the staff of Charter Senior Living at 440 McLaws Circle just outside of Kingsmill - and my sister and my brother-in-law - who have the trusteeship over my parents estate. Mom is still walking a couple of miles a day. Her memory isn’t working well at all but she knows who I am and is in great health physically. I’m writing this generally to let you all know that you all are part of our support network and I am, for all my shortcomings, part of yours if you need. We must help each other make it through what we are going to be going through and keep on going. Keep breathing. Keep radiating unconditional love and acceptance of others as they are. I call it “The Mr. Rogers Method” and I believe we have the ability to extend to each other the kind of unconditional love which parents have for their children, ideally speaking.

Our parents, Melissa’s and mine, were far from perfect. Much about them has already been shared. See:

That’s Dad in the banner photo working at the Travis House in 1979 or so on the plat maps that inform the York County Project which is still available for researchers of the population during the 18th century. I’m busily working on transcriping his “Artisans of Williamsburg - 1700-1800” which did not find a publisher but is still in use by scholars to this day.

All the while, as my father was doing this work and getting published, my mother, Margaret Ann Snell Gill was doing her work quietly and steadily as the Registar at the Department of Collections (and…later…Conservation) between 1972 until her retirement in 2004. Emuseum.history.org is her monument as I have often mentioned.

My mother was born on March 25, 1939 at the family farm on the Mocassin Canal. It had been in the family for over 100 years - possibly 150 or more - and is still in the family today. The house built when my mother was in the fourth grade and about 22 acres of the original holdings are still in the family today - rented to someone, I believe. Before that house was built, my mother’s family of seven lived in what was called “The Old Home Place” - the four seasons of Currier and Ives depicts in “Summer” or “Spring” looks very much like the house that was torn down in the late 1940’s or early 1950’s.

L-R, The author with his wife, Lynn Bush Gill, Joseph Ames Thompson, Margaret Snell Gill, and Annabelle Thompson taken by my sister, Melissa Dawn (Gill) Thompson around 2009 - My father, Harold B. Gill, Jr. was a bit camera shy.

This photo above was taken when my Mom was 70 years old at my sister’s place on Old Bay Bridge Road in Annapolis. I believe this indicates that I have pretty good genes.

Going back to the present moment, when I hung up the phone, I’d comforted Mom from here in DC. I’ll be down there on Friday and take her out to lunch and to the Saint-George Tucker House where we’ll see some of the current Colonial Williamsburg staff from the Development Department. My wife will accompany me this time and we may use her transfer chair if necessarsy for either Mom OR Lynn. Lynn suffered a stroke in 2009 which left her disabled, paralyzed on the left side of the body. Mom doesn’t have that problem, but, sadly, her memory that could tell you the accession number of nearly any object in collections is not but a shadow of what it was. There is a certain tragic inevitability around live - however, we are lucky to have it, regardless of how we find ourselves.

I could wish that more than a few who are in the position to do so would make the time to visit the folks who are in Charter Senior Living and all the many senior living facilities around the area. I do what I can from here, but that is limiting since Lynn and I are tethered to this location for now.

I hope that this post resonates with more than a few of you and sparks some comments, follows, and either paid or free subscriptions. Harrowings needs your support! There’ll be a separate communication for the paid subscribers soon - you who are paying for access here are my “Board of Directors” so don’t be shy in providing your feedback!